(1989) Tetsuo: the Iron Man

1989 gave birth to two potentially pointless things, myself and Tetsuo. This movie felt like something Gabe from The Office would put on at a party.

So here we have an hour long psychotic ride filled with confusion and extreme body horror as we watch a man slowly turn into some metal creature. The premise sounds awesome to me, I read it and immediately got excited.

Does this movie have any awesome moments? I don’t know, does the tin man have a sheet metal cock? Of course it has awesome moments! It’s an hour long movie of a guy turning into scrap metal. Unfortunately an hour was too long for me despite being a huge fan of body horror. A ton of the editing, sound and overall production felt pointless and pretentious.

Anyone who says this shit is a work of art and has deeper meaning needs to explain themselves and I don’t mean in a comment underneath this. I mean I want to watch this movie with you and make you point out things specifically that felt meaningful to you. Is the guys metal spinning drill dick a metaphor for larger western-style corporations fucking Japan in the ass?

This might not be an ideal forth date couch movie to put on but it would go perfectly as background entertainment for a european industrial themed gay club.


Author: Ben

26 year old cheeseburger addicted horror junkie

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