(1985) The Return of the Living Dead

The Return of the Living Dead feels destined to be a shitty b-movie, an unofficial sequel to Night of the Living Dead but ended up becoming a campy, cult horror that will live on in infamy.

The practical effects are incredible and super retarded at the same time (no offense to tards). When I say “no offense to tards” by the way, I really fucking mean it. This inexcusable chaos that transcends to satire of its own plot is the only fucking thing that gives these movies life. That’s fucking retarded and you know what? We’re fucking retarded for liking it, not that I give a shit because it’s awesome.

This move holds a warm place in my heart. This isn’t even a so-bad-it’s-good nod, I genuinely like this movie and believe real talent went into making it. Fortunately, there’s a community of nerds to back me up on this, despite us all probably being completely wrong.

I highly suggest not watching this with your wife if she’s over 40 because the teen punk girls perky tits will have you ripping blunts all night in your garage, trying to contract a time machine out of cardboard boxes and dried jizz.

8/10

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Author: Ben

26 year old cheeseburger addicted horror junkie

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