(1996) Naked Blood: Magyaku

I was pretty sure I was delving into a gross-out splatter fest movie but I was surprised by a fairly complex narrative and interesting dreamlike sequences.

Naked Blood definitely is not for everyone. While it’s not constantly being shoved down your throat, there’s some seriously fucked up graphic scenes. I had to pause while eating nachos at several different moments.

If you’re into fucked up Japanese horror movies, don’t pass on this one. It’s short but surprisingly very interesting.

Also, the foley work is incredible. Beyond the impressive body horror, it was the audio work that really made me cringe (in a good way).

7.5/10

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(2007) Sublime

The iMDB description is wordy so let me just clear up the premise. It’s about a man (Tom Cavanagh) who goes in for a routine colonoscopy and they do the ol’ switcharoo; end up accidentally give him a different man’s procedure.

It’s definitely a psychological horror and one that almost exploits a huge trend of malpractice suits. I’m not saying doctors were shittier in the 2000’s but there was a huge lawsuit boom which attracts the media and yeah, you get the idea. Fear of malpractice is a real thing and probably an actual tangible fear unfortunately. It can be difficult to put a lot of trust in a stranger who’s about to drug you up and snake a long camera up your ass.

Cavanaugh puts on a great performance here. One of my guilty pleasure shows in The Flash, which is where I was introduced to him and I’ve been semi-following him ever since.

I’m obviously not going to reveal to much but it’s a solid movie. It’s dense and emotional, following a more surreal approach to horror filmmaking. I don’t necessarily agree with some creative decisions, especially towards the end but they’re not gigantic hangups.

Overall, I’d say the deep meaning the filmmakers are pushing isn’t quite as deep as they think it is. However, it’s still an effective horror movie and definitely deserves a watch.

6.5/10

(1977) Day of the Animals

Day of the Animals is fairly goofy for a plethora of reasons but always in an enjoyable way. The corny dated premise makes for a solid exploitation film that manages to entertain despite being mostly shit.

The most important thing to mention about this movie is that Leslie Neilson is in it playing a serious role! Don’t worry, he’s hilarious  and his entire performance is epic.

It’s a pretty mid-range b-movie but entertaining for the most part. I don’t know, it’s not that good but whatever.

6/10

(2009) Lesbian Vampire Killers

First off, the iMDB page says it’s called Vampire Killers with the former title being Lesbian Vampire Killers. What dumb fuck was in charge of that decision? Either way, I’m keeping the original title.

It’s pretty funny, entertaining and has nudity. It’s also kind of shitty. It’s basically everything you’d assume from the title.

6/10

(2016) Beware the Slenderman

While I’m incredibly interested in the true case of the Slenderman stabbing, this documentary is lacking focus.

Two hours was a lot of time to explain what schizophrenia can do to someone. It held this lengthy focus on the power of imagination and projection from internet content. While it’s obvious the girls actions were directly influenced by the internet story, it’s best explained by Anissa herself. She knows that creepypasta is a collection of literature. Also, what’s up with Anissa? Is she schizophrenic too? I feel like they never cleared that up.

The best part of the entire thing was probably the honest views about childhood and parenting in general. It was touched on how overlooked it can be for parents to forget how much childhood sucks. It was also mentioned on how sometimes, especially with mental illnesses, the parents aren’t the cause of these instances of violence.

The entire thing just feels sad and scary by the end of it. If you’ve been following this ongoing case, this is your best bet to get a solid inside look as to what truly went on.

Also, I feel so fucking guilty saying this but this would have been a more powerful documentary if the girls had actually managed to murder their victim (sorry).

6.5/10

(2015) Demon

This movie kind of reaches out and grasps at nothing. I’m assuming they were just sort of going for an atmospheric horror but they didn’t quite nail that down. With that being said the film did look very pretty, some fantastic shots, especially towards the end.

The acting was good but the characters were poorly written. It’s not a gigantic complaint since this film wasn’t supposed to be character driven but it’s a void worth pointing out.

There’s also something wrong with the soundtrack, I can’t quite place my penis on it but it sounds out of place I guess.

It has a really strong start, it gets going fairly quickly and engaged me for that first half. After that it’s pretty whatever. I didn’t hate it but it’s a pretty boring movie, interesting idea but poor execution.

5/10