(2006) Fido

My girlfriend has seen this before so I told her I was watching it. When she asked how I liked it I said it was “charming”. That’s not a typical response from me but one that i feel accurately represents the film if you had to choose a word to describe it.

Fido is humorous and witty; while not making me laugh out loud a ton, it put a smile on my face. A lot of that is attributed to 1950’s suburbia but the film captures that era perfectly so why not praise it?

This movie kind of creates that instant universe that feels so well knows despite no background knowledge, much like The Addams Family. That’s such a remarkable quality in and of itself that the cover’s “instant classic” tagline doesn’t even seem all that silly.

If you’re just looking for a non-thinker, pure entertainment horror-comedy, look no further.

7.5/10

(2006) The Host

A lot of the humor in The Host┬ádidn’t particularly appeal to me as I thought the overarching drama kind of weighed that down. I recognize it as somewhat intentional but I’m writing many of these scenes off as awkward.

Some of the attempts at dark humor were in regards to how the father figure was dealing with grief. We have these really unforgiving family members that subsidize their morbid humor under the veil of 80’s style espionage gags. I think back to the scene where they’re all disguised, paying off the officer or whoever with a bag of coins and that scene just doesn’t tie into the rest of the films tone.

Another aspect I didn’t care for was the CGI monster. I’m not saying they skimped on the CGI but I was definitely not impressed. It rudely interjected the films beautiful photography and I just can’t forgive CGI water effects on top of naturally beautiful water effects.

One thing I did love was the films statement on Americans interjecting into foreign affairs. I thought it was both subtle and deliberate. In the copy I watched, after the brain procedure on one of the characters, the subtitles seemed to purposefully vanish during the translation scene and it was just amazing. The film follows up that with a few more clever jabs to make it a successful and also significant overarching theme.

Overall, I’d say The Host seems a bit jumbled to me personally but I can absolutely see the appeal. It’s a very capable and intelligent film that I think, at the very least, warrants a discussion.

6/10

(1991) The Addams Family

I laughed harder at the little kids play/blood scene than I have in years. You know when you start laughing and it just kind of grows maniacal? My stoned girlfriend was laughing along encouragingly at first while I heckled insatiably and begin to pour tears. I shit you not, the blood just keeps pouring out from these girls and I’m just laughing harder and harder. I realized I was just stoned and the laughter, or just shallow, breathless convulsions at this point, start to make me nervous as a physically couldn’t stop. If your girlfriend ever told you your laugh was cute, this was not one of those laughs.

I finally stop laughing and feel the post laugh endorphin rush. Realizing that’s the happiest I’ve been in months thankfully brought me back down to a comfortable, operational depression.

Awesome movie.

8/10

(2002) May

I can’t wipe the smile off my face, May is fucking incredible.

At it’s heart, it’s a deliciously quirky film meant to make you feel the full spectrum of cringe. The lead actress is wonderful, I haven’t seen someone fully encompass a role like that in a long time. I feel like not everyone can see that talent through the veil of a seemingly odd soundtrack and intentionally clunky storytelling.

That’s the craziness of it all though, it plays out at the speed of a 90’s romantic comedy but yeah, I don’t even know what I’m talking about. It’s probably not as good as I think it is. I don’t even give a shit though, I found it to be so original, creepy and funny.

8/10

(1967) The Fearless Vampire Killers

I’m sorry for the delay in posts, I was dealing with the psychological aftermath of my homophobic Nascar loving roommate coming home blackout drunk and sexually assaulting me. Strangely enough, the girl who bagged her groceries slower than molasses in front of me in a self check out line today may have been worse.

Oh the movie? I found it pretty unenjoyable. The set pieces are great and the chemistry between Polanski and MacGowron was an embodiment of that slapstick style humor.

I can’t really give you any specific reason why I didn’t like this, just felt boring and pointless. I don’t think this aged well.

4.5/10

(1996) Ebola Syndrome

Holy shit this movie rocks. I’ve never been so entertained watching a man run around raping people and infecting everyone with Ebola.

Don’t get me wrong, some parts of the film are a bit silly but absolutely intentionally so. In fact, it’s the comedy that really helps balance out all the heinous things that play out here.

I’m not really sure what else to say except I wish more people knew about this. This might not be a popcorn movie for everyone because of all the rape and whatnot but I found it to be a ton of fun.

7/10