(1987) A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors

I think this is my favorite one in the series (so far). It’s absolutely ridiculous but so good. For a film in this specific franchise, you couldn’t really ask for anything more.

The only complaint I really have is that Heather Langenkamp’s acting is really weak. I get that they wanted to bring her back but I’m not feeling her at all.

Everything else is a huge plus though. The practical effects are unreal. Its creepy and dynamic set designs will entertain all horror fans alike. Whether you’re 8 years old and about to never sleep again or 28 and desensitized from life, this isn’t a sequel to miss.

7/10

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(1987) The Witches of Eastwick

Welcome to the old school, slightly more adult version of Hocus Pocus, at least in its approach.

The Witches of Eastwick is really fun though. Nicholson absolutely kills it and the girls have awesome chemistry as well. It’s produced and shot incredibly well but the dude who did….uhh, Happy Feet and the new Mad Max movies.

To be fair to the Max films, there is a dope car chase scene that’s impressively shot here. This one is an 80’s Jack gem and a great one to watch in a group. It’s easy, breezy, covergirl. Sorry, I wish I had more to say.

7/10

(1990) It

I watched this in anticipation of the new one coming out and I have to say, how have I never seen this in its entirety before? Either way, comparing the two versions side-to-side really helped me assess the actual quality of the original mini-series, as apposed to inflating its value through nostalgia.

For the most part, It still remains highly entertaining and Tim Curry’s Pennywise is just iconic. I loved the practical effects as well as the use of multiple storylines. Seeing the the flashbacks between the adults and kids really felt seamless and helped me get a general grasp of the story, even though I’ve never read the book.

It is a book- oh and, side note, it’s really fucking annoying trying to write about this film while referencing its name. Anyways, the book has supposedly tons of weird, questionable shit in it. Towards the end of the film, one of the adults mentions awkwardly that he’s still a virgin but as weird as that is, I think in the book they all just run train on Bev. Despite Stephen King films capturing the angelic, authentic nature of childhood, I’d love to see an ultra-violent/graphic version of It.

This is a great movie/mini-series, there’s just too many specific scenes that stick with us and I’m happy its success gave birth to the remake that I just watched.

7/10

 

(1980) Hex

With only around ~250 reviews on iMDB right now, I’m proud to present you with an actual hidden gem.

Hex is just as chaotic as you’d expect from the same director who did A Boxer’s Omen but it’s almost elegant and hypnotic. Even just on a technical level, this film has just no right being this good. Tons of dynamic shots and lighting really cement an overall impressive quality that breaths life into all the practical effects used.

I can see some people criticizing the plot for the way it’s structured but it was one of my favorite aspects. I definitely felt a LOT of influence from Giallo films produced around this same time period.

The ending scene, which is- well I guess I can’t ruin it. I do want to mention that there’s a long, drawn out sequence, featuring possibly one of the nicest set of tits I’ve seen in a very long time.

I loved this movie.

8/10

 

(2016) Prevenge

I wasn’t too sure about this one while I was watching it but it ended up being a pretty entertaining homage to some outlandish 80’s horror movies. Oh which ones in specific you ask? Fuck you, I can’t think of them right now.

It’s got, besides the goofy talking fetus, the 80’s vibe, wah-wah slice slice shit. It’s moody in both a retro and modern sense. I also think it just kind of works. The backstory is simple but effective.

For a one-off horror flick, I dig it. It’s nothing super innovative and it’s not fucking funny despite being a black comedy. I’m just posting this shitty review to get it over with, I watched this 3 days ago and didn’t know what to write about it.

6.5/10

(1989) Santa Sangre

This is definitely one of those films that will stick with me for a while, despite how many movies I watch on a weekly basis. It successfully pulls off a not so easy surrealist horror tale that’s balanced perfectly with a decent level of dark humor.

I should mention that in regards to some controversial but coveted surrealist films, this one does indeed, have a plot. The first 30 minutes or so are rightfully bewildering but it does start to come together after that. The content without a clear narrative can seem super r4nd0m so that initial period might lose some people.

Easily the most impressive aspect of this film is the ventriloquism inspired acting. It starts out as a goofy aspect of the plot, something that doesn’t really necessarily grab you. However, by the end of the film, it’s molded into this beautiful, creepy display of possession.

Highly recommend this film to anyone and everyone, stick with it and it pays off.

8.5/10

(1967) Viy

This, as far as I know, is the first and possibly only Soviet Union horror film! How fucking cool is that? Well saddle up boys, because it gets even cooler. *grabs a jacket* The movie itself is so goddamn cool.

Usually with older films I enjoy working out how certain effects were done but there were a few here that puzzled me. For the resources they had, everything looks amazing. It’s an incredibly fluid experience that takes zero time before jumping straight into the scares.

The acting is also surprisingly fluid and expressive which to me, isn’t always the case for 1960’s horror films in general. Our main character is nervous but not on a comically cautious level which really brings life to what is essentially a great haunted house movie.

The film is on the shorter side and definitely speaks for itself better than I can. This is another one to add to the horror movie fan handbook, it shouldn’t be missed.

8/10