(2013) These Final Hours

Alright, so *deep breath*…I suppose I can let this heinously ugly orange filter slide because it could be from the reflection of the meteor or whatever. I still maintain that it’s annoying as fuck and visually straining.

The film itself is pretty good. There’s a lot of creativity involved in portraying the end of the world. I really can’t imagine how people would behave in that situation so it’s always fun to see how filmmakers break that down.

It’s a solid story of redemption and the pressure of the entire scenario is really felt in exponential amounts. There’s a ton of sadness and some really dark scenes. I was very impressed with both the drug use and violence. That’s probably because the first thing I’d do is get really fucked up, assuming I knew I was going to die.

Ultimately, I think it’s good but just not big enough. I need more out of a film like this.



(1951) Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet the Invisible Man

I appreciate that this was just as much an Invisible Man sequel as it was an Abbott and Costello movie.

It’s the usual funny, quirky flick you’d expect. The last boxing sequence is kind of drawn out and leaves something to be desired. As a whole though, very watchable and entertaining.


(2010) Stake Land

Stake Land really gave me kind of a video game vibe, specifically the dialogue. That’s not really a good or bad thing to me, just an almost immediate observation.

I believe this film to be a really well made version of mostly the same type of post apocalyptic scenario we’re used to as horror fans. Nothing particularly stands out as super original but what you get is laid out via very clean production. It definitely held my attention and seemed to set up the second film nicely.

The end leaves a semi-cliffhanger but again, nothing groundbreaking or super thought provoking. This is just a nice little moody vamp-ramp skiddlydinglefest, shot in the same style as every zombie movie but with vampires.


(2015) Man Vs.

This could have easily just waded safely into the giant pool of Netflix shit but I was pleasantly surprised with the ambitious nature of the storyline.

It’s a tension builder and its tension relies directly on the little information given so I wont ruin anything. I just want to pack your lunch boxes before you set off to watch this fucking thing.

It stars Brian, the cameraman from The Office¬†and the fucking guy rocks. He’s seriously such a great on screen presence. I love him in Silicon Valley as well.

It’s a fantastic film that’s unfortunately bogged down by PS3 level CGI and that’s the honest in-a-nutshell review. It’s nothing to be overly praised because of that but one that’s worth watching.


(1999) The Astronaut’s Wife

Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron are great but their performances still weren’t really enough.

The initial moments of something-is-wrong in this film are pretty great. I like the somewhat open-ended vague premise as it really could potentially lead anywhere. The direction of the film establishes pretty quickly and from there it just kind of slow jerks you without ever giving you that climax.

The CGI elements just didn’t work for me personally and kind of in the same way that they don’t work in a lot of alien based sci-fi films. The thing is, I have no fucking clue what the aliens look like so the possibilities are endless. Since I’m already never wow’d by CGI, especially from 1999, any sort of reveal is an inevitable letdown.

This isn’t an original concept and I would have loved to see them go much darker with it. It’s just such a frustrating film to watch if you get easily annoyed with characters who make irrational decisions.


(1933) King Kong

This film is a complete journey and a fantastic feat of filmmaking. I’m not one to jerk an old film off for nothing and this one does have its faults which I’ll mention. As a whole though, it’s marvelous.

Let’s get the bad out of the way and then we’ll rehash compliments that a million people have given this over time. King kong himself, while looking okay in certain moments, is dated and goofy as fuck. He looks legitimately retarded. It really doesn’t take away from the movie a ton but I’m just surprised they managed to do such a fantastic job with the other creatures. The one that comes to mind is the lockness monster looking cocksucker. I mean, the mist and all that shit, it worked out to be a great series of shots.

If you’re critiquing how the film looks though it’s mostly going to be filled with praise. Sure, it does cut between claymation, miniature set pieces and old school effects constantly. The thing is, it’s just so immersive and impressive that all I could think about was how much work went into creating this world.

It’s a great film, it really gives perspective to Peter Jackson’s version and while I found the latest Kong iteration to stray from the pack, that was great too. By great, I mean John C. Reilly is hilarious and makes the film.

All in all, don’t shit on any Kong movies until you watch the original. It’s 1933, a lot of my technical criticisms really pale in comparison to everything this film does right.


(2003) Dreamcatcher

I think Dreamcatcher is successful in that, it kept me fairly entertained for the entire 2+ hour run time. Unfortunately, looking at it from a critical aspect and taking into account what the writers and directors were trying to do, it fell somewhat flat.

This film is a really tough one to review because there’s just so much going on. I think it starts really strong with an interesting platform of telepathy and sets the stage for what could have been a great mystery to piece together. Somewhere along the way though, it just goes full on Independence Day.

This basically wasn’t what I personally wanted but it’s not terrible for what it is. There’s an odd mix of sort of child-geared sci-fi that I can’t get behind but I still maintain it to be an enjoyable watch.