(2007) Funny Games

I really don’t even know what to say right now. I guess just refer to my review for the original version. This is almost a shot-for-shot remake with American actors. I’ve actually never seen so little change in a re-made film. I guess that’s partially due to the original director doing it.

It’s good though, just like the original. I’m going to knock it down a point points because we’ve seen this shit and yeah, I don’t even really know. You can’t just remake your own film and expect the same recognition and reaction from anyone who has seen the original work.

I’m not mad nor am I excited; I feel nothing.



(1997) Funny Games

This is simply one of the best home invasion films in existence. It makes a very blunt point about why we watch these films and what we want out of them. It also doesn’t hurt that it does so in a confounding and suspenseful way, that it almost ruins the future films that follow in its footsteps.

The villains are so pure to the horror genre. They’re completely void of any traditional motivations like greed or revenger. This film is an exercise in sadism and personally, when the motivation is just to simply hurt, that makes a film much scarier.

It’s really interesting and there’s plenty more to talk about but half the fun is being surprised, so jump right in.




(1988) Dead Ringers

While almost minimalistic for Cronenberg standards, Dead Ringers offers up some his most mature and complex work out of the entire catalogue.

Jeremy Iron’s puts on a performance of a lifetime. coupled with the technology used to show him as “twins”, it’s truly mind-boggling trying to sort out what’s real and what isn’t, which is where a ton of the tension lies throughout the film.

Overall, it’s an incredibly bleak film that while difficult to re-watch, almost seems necessary as I write this up. The last act of the film culminates the events, with total understanding relying upon a barrage of details that aren’t always easy to keep up with. It’s part of what makes this piece so genius and also what makes it a difficult watch.

I’m still sitting here digesting it but I’m confident in saying it’s one of Cronenberg’s best films, period.


(2017) Never Hike Alone

You know man, I’m totally split in talking about this film as a fan film, or just as a film in general. I kind of feel like it’s just good on it’s own but for some reason just knowing it had like no budget makes it all that more impressive.

To get the bad over with, Jason is played by a fairly normal sized dude. They use creative shots in abundance to hide it and do so quite well, but there’s a few bad ones that slip through the cracks. Other than that it’s just minor shit, axe metallic-unsheathing noises when unnecessary as well as some whatever acting from small roles.

Overall though, it’s a really impressively focused Jason film! It dips into the films universe, grabs a handful of Jason’s big meaty balls and then retreats back into the darkness, without disturbing the universes’ structure. Just an all-around, really creative project.


(2017) Jeepers Creepers 3

Everyone seems super bummed out by this one but frankly, I’m surprised it even got made.

I don’t really have too much to say, it’s a b-movie released on TV. It’s like, cheesy-shitty. There’s tons of bad acting, storytelling and CGI.

There’s some cool shit too though and if you’re fiending for another glimpse of The Creeper, it might scratch the itch.


(2002) Spider

I’ll go ahead and say, right off the bat, this isn’t my favorite Cronenberg film. It’s simplistic in its story, which kinds of limits how far it can go but relishes in a somewhat impressive exposition.

Our lead here is hopeless, he’s in a halfway house, mentally broken and the film doesn’t really offer up any potential resolution. You keep watching simply to try and understand what happened to him. I can appreciate the simplicity of this aspect.

Just examining the story itself, the origin story if you will, is also really simple. I think it would have been a bit more impressive from another director but something about it doesn’t seem right for Cronenberg. I know he didn’t write the script but still, if he was determined to stray away from his usual visual insanity, I would have appreciated a darker, more original storyline.

My friend described it as “out there but not super rewarding” and I feel that sums it up perfectly. The narrative is interesting and complex but the story itself isn’t.

Watch it if you want, don’t if you don’t.


(1972) What Have You Done to Solange?

Just like many great Giallo films, many aspects of the plot are severely fucked up without the actual visuals being overly graphic. I’m just starting to appreciate how accessible these farms are to pretty much everyone.

The story plays out just in the typical mystery fashion but it was engaging for me and most importantly, it all pays off in the end. It’s dramatic, sexy and beautifully shot.

Overall, really solid film. I’m not even the biggest Giallo fan but ones such as this that are simply well executed, really shouldn’t be missed.