(1956) Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I weirdly watched this version of the movie last and the Donald Sutherland version is still my favorite.

This is where the Invasion of the Dirty Snatches¬†started. It’s good, it’s a good story. If you’ve seen the other versions, the shrieking scream isn’t in the original which is disappointing.

Yeah I don’t really know, it’s good but obviously not as good as the remakes. I really enjoyed it though, totally fun watch. It’s also a brilliant way of making an alien invasion movie at the time that was still scary despite requiring little to no special effects.

7/10

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(2014) From the Dark

The last few shots of this movie are so impressively stunning that what proceeds it is almost a joke.

There’s absolutely zero character development or backstory. The two leads behave like obnoxious children. The monster isn’t scary. The lighting is awful. The pacing is awful.

I just don’t get how you make a monster movie tediously boring. This is like a shitty knockoff of Jeepers Creepers in terms of creature design. Maybe I’m reaching with that but I don’t give a fuck, this movie sucks.

2/10

(2011) Sleep Tight

This film was flirting with perfection for me. It’s a textbook example of how to build tension and keep it going throughout the entire movie.

Luis Tosar puts on a sickeningly realistic performance that boasts up an already incredible script. His character is this unstable complex mess of depression, sadism and sociopathy. He’s the worlds worst nightmare, hiding in plain sight.

This is instantly one of my favorite horror movies, period. We get so many films every year that strive to push the limits of body counts and gore. It’s refreshing to look back and watch something centered around extreme sexual deviance. The violence in this film is intimate and genuinely unsettling.

I can’t recommend this enough.

9.5/10

(2010) Cold Fish

I’m just going to talk about this in an honest way, feel free to check out other shit regarding this movie, I can’t imagine I caught everything in that 2 and 1/2 hour fiasco.

It’s a good fucking movie. I keep hearing it as a black comedy but I’m just not really seeing it. It’s pretty fucked up. It’s also too long. It’s way too fucking long.

It has a really creepy narrative but the shock value wears off too quickly. It’s just simply too fucking long. I’ll counter any goddamn argument with “it’s too fucking long”.

I wouldn’t recommend this movie because it’s way too fucking long.

That last line was obviously supposed to be the sinker but you know what? The transformation of our main character at the end was too fucking short. Two and a half hours and then all of the sudden- I wont ruin anything.

So yeah, it’s too long. I did appreciate the ample nudity and tastefully done rape scenes. The main villain is an unbelievably annoying sinister bastard that’s a huge shining light on he film. Everyone else is sort of whatever.

It’s too long.

5/10

(1993) Body Snatchers

This is a totally capable Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake. It has tons of excellent body horror and stays fairly true to the original concept.

The 90’s of course had plenty of lingering 80’s horror goofiness and I think those moments do kind of take this out of the running for being a truly creepy version of the story. Where it lacks in genuine scares, it makes up for in fast paced, fun thrills.

All in all, some very solid performances and practical effects. They could have done just fine fucking off with Gabrielle Anwar’s monologues but they did show her naked so that sort of makes up for it. Actually, the ending is kind of cheesy in general, it really reminds me that I’m not watching the Donald Sutherland version. Even Forrest Whittaker doesn’t quite know how to play his role, which is hilarious.

There definitely wasn’t any masterful direction taking place here but I’d still recommend it. I had a ton of fun watching it, despite its flaws.

6.5/10

(1997) The Cure

Kurosawa directed my favorite Asian horror film to date Kairo (Pulse), so this one was highly anticipated for me.

The Cure or Cure, whatever the fuck it’s called, is an original take on a somewhat classic premise. Even though this was an early horror film for Kurosawa, the main setup of consecutive murders from multiple perpetrators with mysterious motives, has of course been done before. However, the mood of this movie coupled with the rest of the plot, really helps make this film feel original.

The scares are well intertwined with the story and they feel like powerful moments when they hit. This isn’t in any way, despite gruesome moments, a splatter fest. I’d categorize this as a horror version of a normal crime drama.

Overall, there were moments where I was pretty blown away but the movie itself did feel like an early film for Kurosawa, which is completely fine. I feel the same way about a lot of the early works of other directors which I admire. This is still better than 90% of other horror movies and worth a watch if you’re into the horror/crime/mystery setup. I’m in no way saying anything bad about this movie, it just didn’t hit hard emotionally like Pulse did. It’s still incredibly fleshed out with all the answers and lore to bring depth to its final conclusion.

If you haven’t seen a Kurosawa film, you really need to experience his gut-wrenching depressive atmosphere first hand. This is a great fucking movie, me rambling on about it really isn’t doing it justice.

8/10

(2005) Funky Forest: The First Contact

Dude I fucking loved this. It’s totally shitty at times but I don’t know, this was such an experience watching this. For those who aren’t at all familiar with this movie, it’s a Japanese anthology horror/comedy.

The dialogue and character interactions are incredibly dreamlike. They end up having a serious trance-like effect (I was a little high though). It’s a really long movie at 2.5 hours and while the entire thing feels like the film equivalent to a run on sentence, there’s so much diversity that you’re never really bored. Even the few moments I found myself slipping into boredom, it was more like I was hypnotized but the sheer fuckery that was being displayed in front of me.

Some people will become immersed in the surrealism while others will just see s 14 year old trying to be random for attention. Love this or hate it but it should be experienced by everyone; I mean literally everyone. Pop this on a laptop and gather the family around so you can watch Grandma’s crumbling faith in humanity live.

7.5/10