Teen slasher, run of the mill shit. It’s below the curve of pretty much any slasher I can think of. It’s awful on a technical and creative level.
There’s not a single interesting kill nor is there humor.
I do not recommend.
1/10
(2015) Final Girl
Definitely some talent and creativity went into making this complete mess.
Is there nothing worse than a self-aware sociopath that brags about his sociopathy? There is actually, an entire group of them.
Giving this a few points because Abigail Breslin and Wes Bentley deserve better roles.
2/10
(2016) Satanic
Absolutely hilarious, so fucking bad dude. Who put a gun to Sarah Hyland’s head to make her do this film?
I’m tossing the b-horror tag in this post, this shit was that bad.
0/10
(2009) The Unborn
It’s a stupid concept for a horror film, the acting is terrible and the entire thing is unintentionally comedic. The acting is also really bad. There’s even a decent amount of talent on board here, terrible script really.
Yep, everything sucks.
1/10
(2016) Sweet, Sweet Lonely Girl
Absolutely incredible film. It’s such a intimate, tedious slow burn that saying really anything about it would ruin it.
It’s a genuinely chilling myopic exhibition of seduction. A.D. Calvo didn’t use every trick in the book but the one he used, he absolutely perfected.
8.5/10
(2016) Havenhurst
I was drawn to this film for Julie Benz who I was a fan of in Dexter. I think her Dexter role was kind of a fluke though because that role required her natural lack of confidence and vulnerability. You’d think, holy shit, that must translate perfectly to an ex-addict but it really doesn’t. She’s a pretty weak lead in this.
I do think it’s an entertaining movie as a whole though and not at all what I expected. It’s definitely a fun little horror film with some pretty creative evilness. There’s even some intense gore speckled in, which now looking back, doesn’t really translate to the rest of the films tone but nevertheless, it’s a cool scene.
Overall, it’s nothing I’d ever rave about but I enjoyed it. There’s definitely some awkward acting portions and the premise as a whole will probably devolve into a silly concept for most. I’m not unhappy this film was made.
6.5/10
(1999) The Astronaut’s Wife
Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron are great but their performances still weren’t really enough.
The initial moments of something-is-wrong in this film are pretty great. I like the somewhat open-ended vague premise as it really could potentially lead anywhere. The direction of the film establishes pretty quickly and from there it just kind of slow jerks you without ever giving you that climax.
The CGI elements just didn’t work for me personally and kind of in the same way that they don’t work in a lot of alien based sci-fi films. The thing is, I have no fucking clue what the aliens look like so the possibilities are endless. Since I’m already never wow’d by CGI, especially from 1999, any sort of reveal is an inevitable letdown.
This isn’t an original concept and I would have loved to see them go much darker with it. It’s just such a frustrating film to watch if you get easily annoyed with characters who make irrational decisions.
4.5/10
