(1986) In a Glass Cage

Nothing like an intense few hours of Nazi inspired child rape to get you through the work week. At its heart, I believe this film to be a revenge horror but it’s disturbing content makes a lot of the themes hard to distinguish.

Upfront, the thing to first warn someone about would be the graphic scenes of child murder. Even more disturbing than that is the reading of an old Nazi’s journal, with detailed depictions of such acts. They’re just intensely romanticized accounts of child rape and murder; it’s something that actually blew me away. The writer/director is truly one sick fuck to be this in touch with the psychopathic core of a pedophilic murderer.

It’s an incredible movie about consequence and revenge that’s told in a manor that I think bewildered reviewers for years. It blurs the lines between right and wrong, willing to sacrifice¬†lives in the process of condemning an extraordinary evil. The specific breed of revenge, as portrayed in this film, isn’t noble but rather an inevitable product of abuse.

If you think you can stomach it, I can’t recommend this enough.

9/10

(1972) Tombs of the Blind Dead

Tombs of the Blind Dead, albeit far from perfect, remains a fairly entertaining horror film.

I really liked the slow-motion effects on the templars, it felt somewhat ahead if its time. They looked great in general.

The background of the film is solid but the setup in the beginning is just ridiculous; laughable really. I don’t think the movie ever broke away from that tone but the pacing picks up, there’s nudity and some tastefully done rape scenes.

It’s alright.

6/10

(2016) Don’t Hang Up

AHHHH! Is this good?! No it’s shitty…wait, it’s good. Fuck, I don’t even know.

Okay so I’ll fully admit as this movie came to a conclusion, I was on the edge of my seat. I shit you not this is masterfully paced and the production itself is on point. It’s not a genius story by any means but this is the type of horror film I love. There’s just so many different angles and misdirections that watching it begins to feel like a game.

There’s several moments where I burst out laughing from one of the main characters performance. It’s not necessarily his fault by any means but whoever wrote the script forgot what it’s like to be a teenager and possibly a person in general. Those moments aren’t really hiccups so much as they’re projectile vomit.

Still though, the end was a satisfying conclusion and I have to be fair to this film and accept the fact that it provided genuine thrills. I wouldn’t praise this movie for its originality but it knows what it’s doing and it does it somewhat well.

It’s a good mix of shit and quality with little in between. No one will remember this in 5 years.

6.5/10

(1971) A Bay of Blood

This film is pretty well known in the horror community as being one of the biggest influences for slashers such as Friday the 13th. I believe that the 1980 film had a hard time grasping everything that made A Bay of Blood successful.

The first thing to note is that this is a simple film, as far as the plot goes at least. Being an Italian director, I could have guessed that there would be a bit of mystery involved; which isn’t a bad thing, especially since body count movies tend to get tedious.

To me, the most successful aspect of this movie was the camera work. Although, it could just be because I’ve seen so many slashers that I needed to be in tune with something else to stay focused. I noticed a lot of long panning to extreme close up shots that gave the kills a real sense of urgency. There’s one shot towards the end where the shot actually lingers long enough to where we see our victim go limp, as opposed to the last look of surprise, which we’re normally left with.

Someone else can probably point out more about this movie than I can but I will say that I fully enjoyed it. Also, goddamn, that one particular girl that prances around naked is thicc as fuck.

Enjoy!

7/10

(1972) The Other

Ugh, I always hate doing these type of reviews because people usually universally disagree with them but here goes nothing. The Other is a now widely respected film and groundbreaking psychological horror that seemingly helped pave the way for tons of other awesome movies with fucked up kids as the lead.

I don’t think the film holds up too well for me personally and I can’t imagine other seasoned horror fans feeling any differently. I was able to predict the twist within about 2 minutes, which really isn’t a statement on this films mystery, it just is what it is. If I had seen this when it first came out then I’m sure it would have really impressed me. Unfortunately, I know the horror-twin game and this was obvious from the start.

I hate to say it but that ruined it for me, it was pretty boring after that. There weren’t any really graphic scenes to pump it up and the whole thing just ended up feeling flat.

I can certainly see the merit in the technical aspects of the film. I just didn’t enjoy it, I’m glad everyone else does but once again, I’m going with my gut on this one.

5/10

(1974) The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue

Wow, this is low-key one of the greatest zombie movies ever made. Okay, maybe that’s exaggerating but definitely one of the best early zombie films.

I watched a blu-ray copy of this and for 1974, help my fuck buddy, this movie looks incredible. The effects are awesome, the sound is pretty good and the setting in general is really dope for a zombie film.

One of the things that sometimes bugs me about both zombie films and horror movies in general, is when directors use heavy filters/low lighting to enhance special make-up effects. I’m so stoned I don’t even really know how to word this but I’m just trying say say that bright red blood looks incredibly in broad, clear daylight. My god, I just got so angry thinking about how rare this is.

The actual story itself is really engaging with a satisfying ending that sets up a sequel perfectly. Does this have a sequel? I’ll have to search around. Definitely check this one out, it’s one of the better films I’ve watched this month so far.

8/10

(1972) Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead People

Thanks again to Susan for another solid recommendation. This movie is both playfully shitty and satisfyingly demented.

I love the look of it in general. It’s super grainy and the make-up effects are sort of rushed and dirty. While those may sound like negative aspects, they actually give the film a lot of character.

Coupled with its unique look, this movie also takes a bit of a different approach to zombies. They’re not really traditional in the aspect of the undead being a product of disease. Of course coupled with that is the usually biting and spreading of it. The undead in this film are simply the undead. They’re motive to kill isn’t apparent but that’s okay, we get the idea.

When I say the movie is playfully shitty, I really mean it is kind of shitty. The plot really isn’t all that apparent until halfway through the movie and the pacing in general just seems odd at times. They’re things I noticed but they didn’t necessarily bother me.

This is pure b-movie fun right here and it’s just kind of an Easter Egg basket for small quirks that were totally unusual for early 70’s horror movies. Just remember to keep in mind that the laughs are intentional! It’s absolutely worth your time.

It’s a shame the director Bob Clark passed away before remaking this one. This would have been absolutely perfect for a remake.

6.5/10