(1995) The Addiction

I always beat my meat for the short and sweet. The Addiction gets straight to the point while delivering a powerful message about addiction.

I’m not sure why film history has glorified New York City as a beacon for crime and sin but it serves as an excellent backdrop for this arthouse style horror. It’s gritty, dirty and coincides with a lot of the darker human aspects that are being exposed.

“To face what we are in the end, we stand before the light and our true nature is revealed. Self-revelation is annihilation of self.”

On it’s surface, this is an excellent vampire film. It’s not a bloodbath per say but every scene of violence pops well. Lot of themes come with a movie about addiction of course. Addictions are really only ever overcome by redemption and sacrifice. the main character Kathleen has to come to some pretty fate affirming revelations to be able to be at peace.

This is an excellent film. It borders on pretentious occasionally but I believe all the grandiose points being made, end up being validated.

8.5/10

(1976) Alice Sweet Alice

Well, first things first, I don’t understand the ending. I don’t even really to comment much further on it, I just don’t understand it.

This is basically a Scooby-Doo episode spiced up with some religious bullshit. It’s fucking boring man. When the big mystery is revealed my only thought was “oh good, we’re getting close to the end.”

It did have a few good scenes towards the end which is a big plus. I was pleasantly surprised to see the tension amplified after the killer was unmasked. There’s some deliberate camera work done to intensify the mood any time the killer in on screen from this point on.

If you like mystery horror films, maybe you’ll like this. I also couldn’t find a decent copy and the one I watched was grainy as fuck, which never helps. Again, it drags a decent amount. Have you guys seen this? Any thoughts on the ending?

5/10

(1983) Christine

Unless you’re familiar with John Carpenter it’s virtually impossible to explain how good this film is after prefacing its plot. It’s about a killer car after all.

The movie is perfect though, it really is. It’s campy, the effects are incredible and while it doesn’t explicitly deliver a meaningful message, it embodies everything that’s horror to me. This pretty much applies to all Carpenter films, he just gets horror where a lot of directors don’t.

I already said it’s campy so I’m not going to go on about performances but the plot itself validates them. To me, this is just a perfect film. A perfect, 9/10 film.

This review is so fucking lackluster so let me just reiterate that the effects are fucking awesome and so ahead of their time. I actually can’t figure out how they did all the shit in this movie without a fairly hefty budget and even then, it’s still a technical feat.

I fucking love Christine.

9/10

(2014) The Taking of Deborah Logan

Jill Larson puts on a seriously excellent performance as Deborah Logan and elevates this movie above the other million ones of its kind.

Overall, the production of the film is excellent. It’s not meant to be creepy, it’s meant to scare you. Did it scare me? Eh, I don’t know, I may have jumped a few times. It also took a minute to get the tone of the film. At first I saw it was about an Alzheimers patient and thought that could be a great premise for a horror movie just in itself. I didn’t quite realize how ridiculous things would get but I was happy they did. It’s quite possible this would have bored me otherwise.

Whether intentional or not, Anne Ramsay’s character adds some nice, genuine humor sprinkled throughout. My favorite line is when she tells a snake to go fuck itself. The whole thing isn’t a masterpiece but I definitely enjoyed it, really fun movie.

7/10

(2009) Exam

Oh boy, the people on reddit are going to be pissed if I add this one to my best of February list. Here comes the “umm it’s actually a psychological thriller” police.

Actually, they might be right in this instance but I don’t give a fuck because it’s close enough.  Exam has a really well thought out plot. What seems preposterous as it happens, is always eventually explained. It also takes place all in one room which I always really admire.

I think now that I’m sitting here typing this, a lot about this movie is kind of ridiculous. My previous statement still holds true, in the confines of the plot they created, everything fits into place. When I take a step back though, it does seem a little stupid.

It’s an entertaining film nonetheless and I highly suggest checking it out, especially if you’re looking for an engaging movie. There’s close to zero downtime in this film and I think its pacing in general is one of its strongest aspects.

6.5/10

(2015) Circle

If you liked Cube then you might want to check this one out. It’s another one of those horror movies where everyone wakes up trapped in this thing with no idea of how they got there.

I enjoyed Circle but it’s pretty shitty. The acting is whatever and unlike Cube, there’s no interesting kills or anything. The entire film is really just a piece of social commentary and while I was definitely entertained, it didn’t say anything interesting or new.

I really do love these style of horror movies though and while the quality of acting usually tends to be mediocre, they don’t usually fail at keeping me engaged. It’s on Netflix if you boys want to check it out, I’d say it’s worth a watch.

Also, goddamn what a fall from grace for Julie Benz. I feel like when the Trinity Killer offed her in Dexter, he killed her career as well. The girl barely says a word for the first hour of the movie.

6/10

(1970) The House That Screamed

This is a pretty successful film that I’m sure Dario Argento watched before he made Suspiria. It’s very similar in a lot of ways; general creepy vibe, boarding school and of course, it’s a murder mystery.

With that being said, this one kind of bored me a bit. It’s not something I can put my finger on, it just did. It’s well put together as far as murder mysteries go. I think it’s more about the fact that I’ve seen movies very similar to this and despite this being a predecessor to them, it feels repetitive.

I did really appreciate the headmaster’s relationship with her son. It was very creepy and had an unsettling incestual vibe. I’d really like to revisit this film in the future but I did enjoy it, I’m just not going to pretend it was favorite thing ever.

7/10

(1999) Idle Hands

This was quite possibly the best horror comedy I’ve ever seen, what a fucking gem. I feel like most horror “comedies” are really just a lighthearted, goofy flick but Idle Hands is actually laugh-out-loud funny.

It’s pure 90’s nostalgia right here, everyone is excellent in it. The special makeup effects are on point as well. Of course, most importantly, Jessica Alba is str8 wrecking dick in her absolute prime, sporting the maybe-she’s-not-out-of-my-league girl next door look. I know people kind of exaggerate when in comes to exceptionally hot women but I’d actually kill someone to get with her. I wouldn’t kill anyone important or anything but you know, maybe a homeless person, or a Jew.

Relax guys, I’m just kidding. I would never kill a homeless person.

8/10

(1986) In a Glass Cage

Nothing like an intense few hours of Nazi inspired child rape to get you through the work week. At its heart, I believe this film to be a revenge horror but it’s disturbing content makes a lot of the themes hard to distinguish.

Upfront, the thing to first warn someone about would be the graphic scenes of child murder. Even more disturbing than that is the reading of an old Nazi’s journal, with detailed depictions of such acts. They’re just intensely romanticized accounts of child rape and murder; it’s something that actually blew me away. The writer/director is truly one sick fuck to be this in touch with the psychopathic core of a pedophilic murderer.

It’s an incredible movie about consequence and revenge that’s told in a manor that I think bewildered reviewers for years. It blurs the lines between right and wrong, willing to sacrifice lives in the process of condemning an extraordinary evil. The specific breed of revenge, as portrayed in this film, isn’t noble but rather an inevitable product of abuse.

If you think you can stomach it, I can’t recommend this enough.

9/10

(1972) Tombs of the Blind Dead

Tombs of the Blind Dead, albeit far from perfect, remains a fairly entertaining horror film.

I really liked the slow-motion effects on the templars, it felt somewhat ahead if its time. They looked great in general.

The background of the film is solid but the setup in the beginning is just ridiculous; laughable really. I don’t think the movie ever broke away from that tone but the pacing picks up, there’s nudity and some tastefully done rape scenes.

It’s alright.

6/10